Here’s a joke for you, “There’s nothing to do in Singapore “

One of our ongoing concerns about living in Singapore is what to do to fill our time when you’re not slaving away at work. In the last couple of weeks we’ve found some good things to do, oddly enough going to the Singapore Repertory Theatre twice in a week. Firstly, to see a friend’s self-written monologue in a show that she also produced and secondly, to laugh our Friday night away at the Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow. It seems that with a little nudge and the willingness to try new things, there’s plenty to do. Or that’s what we thought.


Between the handful of comics that were entertaining us this evening, we were hosted by a ‘brilliant’ (her words!) New Zealander MC, Cal Wilson. Her role was to engage the crowd, get some good vibes running around the hall and kick-start the banter. After going over the usual “where are we all from this evening?” round of questions, we reached the “so, what is there to do in Singapore?” section. And this is where it all got a little uncomfortable. The comics had already been to the zoo and had already ranted about the excessive shopping addiction and surplus demand in this city and with those two big tickets gone it left silence.


“The night safari...” some game lady chirped up....except the show is one during the night, you fool....you’d never been in a more uncomfortable comedy show. The audience corpsed and silence loomed as people raced through the things to do in Singapore. The wall of silence morphed into a swarm of bees as audible “mmms” buzzed about the theatre. And then it got really weird. Of all the things to do in Singapore, of all the things that could have been said; “eat”, “drink”, “visit Sentosa”, someone down the front passed Go, took a beer-induced ticket and suggested “four floors of whores”.


I’m sorry? “Four floors of whores”? Firstly, what is that and why is that what comes to your mind when you think of things to do during the day in Singapore? During the day? Following almost immediately came a suggestion to “visit Geylang”, which while dubious enough was misinterpreted as “visit Gay-Land” by our Kiwi MC and from then on the whole section became really, really awkward.


Needless to say, Lady and I did not take notes during this section of the evening and we’re on the look-out for alternative excursions.


Shovel